Adam's Hobbies page

This first poem is an old one. A clue: the five senses...

Old Friends

Tarragon leaves
Half melted candle in a
  John Jameson bottle
Her soft hand, quietly resting
  on my skin
A Tanqueray and tonic
"New York State of Mind":
  Billy Joel on the radio-
  an old friend.

-A.Sah'90

So I've always been meaning to write a followup, with the obvious title. I missed my chance in New York (city)- it just didn't click. How do you evoke these feelings for people you can't know "well enough"?

New Friends

Loneliness hides in wall-to-wall carpeting
  and the mindless chatter serves to keep these people from being close
  I miss you, Abby- somehow our aimless mumblings added
  up to something that I miss more than anything
  from this corner of the globe.

It takes time, I know.  But so does cancer.
  I want to trust these new friends.
  I want to open up and to see them
  as only close friends can, contradictions and all.

Shit, Rob- dude: _you'd_ understand.
  Why do you have to be 3,000 miles away when I
  really need you?  Yeah, she and I broke up-
  and damnit- you're out with the crue the crew
  I want to still be part of

And my faith and my memory leak away with every long distance bill
  fifty bucks of one-minute charges on their answering machines.

And the new life _is_ so hard.  I'm unproven, once again-
  staring down possible (imminent?) failure each week
  makes me lonely as hell i can't explain to youze guys
  what i'm going through you don't do it you're not here.

and the new ones, who do shovel this same shit- 
  they don't really know me and they can't yet feel me
  feel the wooden handle of my shovel dig into callous ridden hands
  their sympathies fall shallow at my feet in the dirt useless

But raph and laura and chris and rick and I got real drunk the other night.
  It was clear by the way we all poured out our secrets
  that each of us missed old friends in some distant home.

And maybe in time it'll work out (it doesn't always, you know), but for now,
  the office seems to be made of cardboard
  the apartment is too large and empty and
  the kitchen table has four chairs
but seats only one.

-A.Sah'93

I think I'm starting to feel at home here, but it will take time- you know how it is.

Feedback is appreciated.

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